However it's entering the stage of an adult I find it tough. I'm sure in Singapore , grades is almost everything. What we have chosen to study in ITE or Poly may not be the ideal courses that we wanted to study or strive in for our near future. So the courses that we are studying are mostly the stepping stones for students to get their certs. I'm sure what I've mention does not imply to everybody , but definitely me.
"So What's Next?"
Yes , I'm real lost once i'm are done with school and while waiting for graduation. What's Next ? I asked myself. I felt that i'm not well equipped with skills to enter the society . I gave myself a couple months to relaxed and decide but I really couldn't make a decision.
Why? Why couldn't I make a decision?
I'm sure we all knows that employee are still focusing on certs. Yes I'm sure that we still can survive without a cert and earn big bucks by running a business maybe ? But for me I feel I should at least get a degree cert as my back support , just in case . (Yea, typical Singaporean)
Got to admit that I did not achieved good grades to enter the local university. Private university are really costly and no CPF or any grants .
I'm so stressed out to do part time or full time studies .
Pros of full time studies :
- Making more friends
- Friends are hardworking and study
- They will contribute to project work
- They motivates me to study
Cons of full time studies :
- I'm unable to pay the school fees!!!
- If I take loan , I'll be in debt and would not able to buy a house to build a family !!
Pros of Part time studies :
- Able to pay my school fees.
- Able to accumulate CPF and having a chance to buy house and build a family.
Cons of Part time studies :
- Having to study on sat and it's my bf booked out day! Only day to spent time with him :(
- It will be real tiring for me as I have to work and manage my studies at the same time. Not sure if I could cope.
I'M SURE I'M A OVER THINKER !
I felt really stressed out as I'm worried about the school fees as I'm unable to pay if I go for full time studies. While I'm afraid that I could not manage my studies if I have to work full time. I know I haven't been a studious person for my whole life.
I'm worried that being so busy , I wouldn't have sufficient time for my love. I know he will be busy but weekend is his only free time but I will be wasting his precious 3 hours on his rest day. I'm afraid slowly we don't see the same way , having different thinking and starts to drift apart. I'm afraid that because I chose this path and what we have planned out would be disrupted and be gone. I'm afraid of losing you in the process of achieving something . I want you to know this is OUR plan and not my plan.
But I'm glad we work things out over the phone and reassured each other. I'm sure it will be real tough for you and not easy for me as well but I really hope we could hold on and really work hard for our future life.
I know I worried way too much over this and that. I know my dad asked me to study full time so it wouldn't be so hard on me and told me he could handle the fees. But I wouldn't want that as there's still others fees for him to pay. It will be stressful for him and he is not young . I could feel all of your love and you guys are right , IT'S ME . Ultimately I'm the one doing it and facing it all. Its gonna be real real hard but please hang on to me and let me hang on to you. Give me your support and I'm sure I'm determine enough to fight it all.
I want to find and give myself a place in the world and making myself useful and not feel useless. I will find my way and walks a different way. I'm sure after all the wind and rain there will be a brand new day for me and us! Lastly, just some motivational quotes to motivate myself and keeps me going ! HAHAHAHA
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