Over the sea

I hold my hope up high to soar in sky
The deep blue sky give the peace on my mind.
The little island I see ,put a smile on my face.
Out of sudden reality hit me with disgrace.
The urge of seeing the world seems so strong ,
but the best is go with beloved that love me so long .
The dream of this approaching put a smile on my face and
 I hope it comes true with anything we face.

Good days gone bad

Hasn't been feeling real good these days. Tend to feel depressed and wish to be alone . Honestly I don't know why, maybe I have been too hard on myself, maybe I'm tired of many things . Maybe I felt I put 100% in things but not getting the same in-return .But nobody seems to understand , nobody seems to know. Explaining it's hard on what's going on, part of me feel silly and feels like giving up . But I guess I'm still attached to things I wouldn't want to let go. Really wish to go overseas to reorganized my thoughts once more. Have been overthinking . I wish I can just faint , at least able to rest my body a little. I hope things will get better , I hope the light shine my way.

Whispers

I will not say anything more
I will not say anything less
What I will say is only I can hear
Repeating in my ears
I will not let anyone know
Neither I will not let anyone take my soul .
I will not speak my disappointment till you notice I'm disappointed .
I will try to listen so please be patience .
I have a set of mind stronger than you other than mine.
I vow not to promise to do anything I can't promise .
I try to understand anything I will try to comprehend .

Silence

Seems like I'm drown in my own world I'm lost , lost in my own world. Not sure of what to say, I feel I have a million of thoughts but words I couldn't say. Not sure what I should do nor what I'm feeling ..

Feelings

Haven't been updating for a long time and decided to start on it because I guess it's time to talk to myself instead of blabbering long messages which might be irritating . 

Started on my internship and yeah the pay is real low , but I guess that the company I am working under it's fine for me. So many things have been haunting and pestering me lately which I wouldn't mention one by one . But particularly I'm dedicating this to you . I know what I have mention tonight  will hurt/haunts/stress you deep down .  I know you have tried your best and definitely only I can feel and see it , I'm sorry that I have to make you go thought this thinking that you will never be enough not perfect .  But  it's actually sufficient and I really afraid that you would stop trying and give up. I feel real useless and I really not sure of what to do and I can't find a win-win situation. I know you haven't felt good these few days  as well and you actually do feel unfair and keep all problems to yourself . I want you to know that as much as you are here for me being my pillar of strength , I am  also behind you , supporting you , being your pillar of strength as well.  Maybe you may find me repaying but I just wanted to make sure we do communicate well and also clear up every misunderstanding or unhappiness. 

Honestly , there are many things I am thankful for  , but. I just feel I am not very expressive (neither do you ) but maybe writing helps. We may not be the best but we are trying hard. I really hope that we have the heart to make it through and we won't give up so easily . There are still tons of things we wish to complete together I hope we can do it . I really hope I can put a smile on your face instead of being the burden to drag you down.  Let pray and hope everything will go smoothly on us and  yep I think for now this shall be all  😘 

Chapter 10:Simplicity

Life seems good these days as I'm only have two classes in a week, however I foresee that I'll be busier as there are many projects deadlines to meet. However, I really like to keep myself occupied as at times I can be a real deep thinker. Wanted to find myself a part time job , but I was afraid that I could not commit to it due to my FPY projects and portfolio items. 

As much as I wished to keep myself occupied with work and many other stuff , I thought that maybe I should relax myself as this is the only time where I could enjoy my holiday and free time. I felt that as we enter society , the only time where we could relax is to take leave, MC and pinned on public holiday. 

I felt that growing up is kind of scary as I have no idea about my future. What do I want to work as? What are my aims and goals? What do I loved doing? I guess I just don't understand myself well enough and just letting the days past. I don't wish to sloth for life but HBD and Cars are just too costly.

But still I dream of having a heart warming home and family to lived with.I bet many have the same goals as me.  I have get to realized that we have to cherish and appreciate of what we have to enjoy and be happy in life. No point being greedy and want more out of people, of course we should have some expectation but just cherish every moment that makes you happy and cherish your love ones around you. 

In life, there are definitely ups and down but is see how you get over it and pick yourself up. I may not gone through many things in life, but at least I found a key to my own happiness and make myself happy. I just want to lived happily with the people I love and seeing them happy makes me happy too. Shall update when I feel like it again. Stay happy peeps!